Frankie says relax… Popey says blog

Honey, red is so your colour!

The Pope has told his fellow retards to get down with the kids. Rather than just go down on them.

For, news flash! Popey Cunty the Something will use his World Communications Day (World Communications Day? Do we get a day off for that?) message in May to encourage the clergy to start blogging and using social media.

How very very.

Can of worms? Opened.

*puts on Geordie accent that strips wallpaper in its spare time*

‘Day one in the Vatican, and Popey’s talking to the fairies again. And those pretty little things with wings and magical powers. Has a Number 2.’

‘Day two in the Vatican. Popey’s frustrated so has an Anne Frank. Looks in mirror to marvel at his post-money shot glow, notices an unsightly poppers burn around the nostril area. Reaches for his Boots No. 7 cover-up stick. Really needs the loo again, but decides to hold it in. ‘Cause Jesus told him to.’

‘Day three in the Vatican. Popey’s just logged on to Cam4. Only the fancy pixelation software that he bought using the money he nicked off stupid poor people is up the creak and his face is clearly on view. It’s a worry and a tradge.’

‘Day four in the Vatican. God’s MSN’d saying, “Please don’t go on Cam4 again, Benny. ‘Cause your cock’s shit and no-one wants to see that.” Popey’s still not been to the loo. Even though the Baby G said he could now. Popey goes into fear spiral and takes 173 Dulcolax. Popey shits his brains out.’

Andcetera.

Who said telly standards had slipped?

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3 comments to “Frankie says relax… Popey says blog”

  1. The lady to Popey’s left is wearing paedo glasses.

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  2. I just KNEW I’d seen him on cam4…..!!

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  3. I would actually enjoy to read that blog every day. Can we persuade Benny to carry on with it?

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