It’s actually part trois if we’re being pedantic, but we’re in a deux frame of mind.
So, like, anyway, right?… in our ongoing series e-snappily entitled, ‘See, told you gays can fly’ in which we offer proof to the general public that gays are not only good at bumming but can fly – through the actual air and without the aid of string, CGI, Red Bull or poppers – we give you Tom Thumb Cruise off-of really shit actor and in no, way, shape or form a homosexual. Not on your nelly. And certainly not on your back bottom.
And the reason Thomas Cruise off-of small lady-man syndrome isn’t a homosexual is because he is seen here – flying, and not for the first time in his life. Not even for the second – with the aid of string. That’s with. Not without. Real life gays don’t need the string.
Tom Cruise is not a homosexual. We repeat, Tom Cruise is not a homosexual. Beverley Leslie, however, is…