And we apologise profusely for the language used in that pissing opener.
From which you may have garnered Katie Price has married Alex Reid off-of just won Celebrity Big Brother.
The pair got hitchy-ditched in Vegas (classy and original. Give the girl a toffee apple!) at the Wynn hotel. Which as Vegas hotels go is not the most tawdry of the lot but it’s still very much from the Mohammed al Fayed’s shrine to Diana ‘n’ Dodi in Harrods school of design.
A crew from ITV2, who make her celebrity scat show, were there to record every. Last. Bit.
Speaking of which, we were on that *waves* Interviewing Katie off-of Price *waves again* Ironically, one of the questions that made the cut was, ‘Are you really saying Peter Andre’s in the last cock you’re ever going to suck?’ How prophetic was that? We should get the Nobel. Or just a Nobel.
‘Katie and Alex are delighted to announce that they got married in a private, simple ceremony at 4pm (PST) on February 2nd in Las Vegas,’ read a statement released to, erm, the press we guess.
Wonder how long it took ’em to come up with that?
So how long we give it? As long as this piece of string we’re holding from a town called Kabbalah?