February 9th, 2010
A fine example of why underwear models should keep their mouths shut. When it comes to talking, that is.
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Meet Kellan Lutz. He is famous. He has been on TV and in Twilight and everything. And now, the apex of his career as a whatsoever pretty boy actor, he is the face and (not very impressive) bulge of a new range of same-old underpants from Uncle Calvin (only Uncle Calvin prolly hasn’t had anything to do with this shit since Marky Mark or before).
See a video interview and some behind-the-scenes footage where he reveals that he likes gummy bears over the jump.
Frankly, we’re not buying him. And we’re not buying them. So, what pants are we buying? Answers on a Paddington Bear notelet…
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- Dave Salmoni, dolly bear.
- Ash. Ton. Kut. Cher.
- If looks could kill. Or at least give that cunty face a slap.
- Now, do you have ten minutes to see GaGa and Beyonce’s lez-sploitation movie? Trust us, it is laugh-out-loud funny. We even had to put down a cigarette
- Sharleen. Your questions popped deep withinside of her. Part the first.




I’m currently wearing pants that cost me, wait for it…. 2.50. And not 2.50 sterling… 2.50 Euros! Okay, that doesn’t quite have the effect it should’ve done, what with the shitty exchange rate, but c’mon… 2.50 in pounds or euros… that’s kinda good! Oh, and they’re really nice. Simple white bikini brief, shows in all the right places, no obnoxious label inside or out… you can’t sniff at that.
he’s got no arse? where’s his arse? i like an arse.
The poor boy’s mail must be addressed to Mr K.Lutz - seems vaguely appropriate, somehow - not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is he?
(But I’d still bum him into next week…)