Vernon Kay does a Tiger Woods.

Sex pest? Not on your nelly.


So Vernon Kay off-of northern vowels is embroiled (embroiled?) in his very own extra-marital misdemeanour (misdemeanour?) involving a bunch of Page 3 girls (hookers?), and wifey ain’t too chuffed (muff?).

Vernon Kay, who is variously being called ‘squeaky clean’ and ‘family man’ and ‘annoying as fuck’ by the presses has, it appears, been sending texts to women who aren’t Tess Daly.

*falls of Eileen Gray chair*

If these women were total munters it probably wouldn’t be a problem, but they’re not. So Vernon’s in the shithouse.

‘I knew it was getting silly,’ he told The Sun through in interpreter. ‘I’m never going to do it again and hopefully I can clear the slate clean and start again.

‘I’m so sorry. I’ve been an idiot and I’ve let my family down.

‘I’ve been stupid and daft and I’m not a sex pest. I’ve only done this with four or five girls.’

*Looks up ‘this’ in OED*

How exciting was that?

As you were…

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More dolly #content:

3 comments to “Vernon Kay does a Tiger Woods.”

  1. What’s the difference between a Page 3 girl and a hooker…?
    That’s a rhetorical question, naturally.

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  2. I like an Eileen Gray chair. I prefer a chaise longue by Le Corbusier, though.

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  3. Interestingly Pilar, that Chaise was also designed by a babe; Charlotte Perriand, who was working in Le Corb’s studio at the time.

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