Sir Dame Elton John and his environs have revealed to an already suspicious world that the baby Jesus was indeed a gay. A homosexual one at that.
Jesus was a ‘compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems,’ he told Parade magazine in the US and maybe A.
Christians aren’t happy. Hooray!
Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League – a US Catholic (like, durrr!) civil rights organisation (contradiction in terms) – said Elton didn’t have a fucking clue what he was talking about, the dirty shit-stabber.
‘Jesus was certainly compassionate,’ says Bill, no relation to The Cosby Show. ‘But to say he was “super-intelligent” is to compare the son of God to a successful game-show contestant.’
Jesus gay Christ, Billy! Take a chill pill! They take offense at anything, those dirty thieving kiddy-fiddling closeted bastards!
‘More seriously, to call Jesus a homosexual is to label him a sexual deviant.’
Oh Bill. You utter cunt.
The response of British Christians has been less frothy at the fanny.
‘Sir Elton’s reflection that Jesus calls us all to love and forgive is one shared by all Christians. But insights into aspects of the historic person of Jesus are perhaps best left to the academics,’ a spokeschristian told the BBC.
*And did those feeeeeeet, in ancieeeeeeent time… Walk upon England’s moun…. tains…. greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen…. Looking for cock…*