You really would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at Cheryl Cole’s current misfortunes

What a pretty picture!

Imagine marrying a footballer in a million-pound magazine deal only to find out that he was having sex with other people! The very idea of it!

And whether those people are male or female is neither hither nor thither, it’s definitely not fun if – even if you couldn’t give a flying Fig Newton (as Karen Walker so wisely says, ‘One woman’s sexual harassment is another woman’s night off’) – you have to act like you’re all broken up and have to keep walking through international airports with your left hand in front of your face so everyone can see that you’re not wearing a wedding ring (pushing your hair continually behind the ears is the best way of getting that hand/face proximity which works best for paps, in case you’re ever in this situation. Top tip).

As if that wasn’t enough, and not winning your hotly tipped Brit didn’t take the Ginger Nut biscuit (this is a very crunch biscuit-related story as it turns out), Cheryl – who once asked us who the rudest person we’d ever interviewed was and, to her credit, laughed when we told her it was she herself! – has now had a stranger trying to finger her rings. And not in a good way!

Yep, while she’s off in LA walking through airports with her ringless left hand up in front of her face, some joker was trying to break into her very pricey and horrible house to get at her wedding rings. Well, that was the spin The Daily Cunt put on it.

They are ring-obsessed. Again, not in a fun way.

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