‘Is this appropriate behaviour for the future King of England?’ froths the Daily Mail’s resident cunt, Liz Jones. ‘Could a real woman sit like this?’ ‘I’ve spend £400,000 on clothes and still look like rat’s arse!’ she flaps on, as the country went to the dogs.
But really, Your Royal High off-of Ness, we don’t know where to look, we really do! It reminds us of that time on the Tube (times), sat across some male non-female chap in the summer months, legs ajar, shorts just so, direct line to the boys, as t’were. We didn’t know where to look, we really did!
*memories, like the Northern Line…*
So we called Buckingham Palace for a statement, but they put the phone down on us. Very politely, must be noted. ‘Good morning!’ then click. It was quite nice. We might do it again.
If you fancy seeing the above in moving pictures, go here. It’s the BBC’s iPlayer which, well, thank the baby cheeses that’s in our life. If you’re not interested in the love life of Queen Victoria (she was a one-man woman, that one), skip straight to 23:50. And we can’t help thinking Fiona Bruce needs to ditch the leathers.
‘Could a real woman be Fiona Bruce?’ parps Liz Jones’s fanny. ‘Could she? COULD SHE?’