So George Michael’s on Grindr.
*falls off chair; stays for a while ’cause it feels nice*
Apparently, he’s been using Grindr whilst on tour in Australia, to pick up the mens.
Dirty filthy thieving bastard.
We’re on Grindr as we speak *waves*. Someone with a bike as his profile picture Grinded us (we’re assuming everyone’s happy with ‘Grinded’?) and said, ‘You’re hot.’ We replied, ‘Too kind. But we don’t chat to bikes. Good morning!’ and that was that. It was that as well.
Someone then sent us a picture of himself ejaculating. We didn’t know where to look. Still don’t.
That up there is our imagining of George Michael’s Grindr profile. We believe he would put his user name as ‘Michael’ rather than ‘George’ so as to throw people off the scent. They’re a wily bunch those celebrity cock chasers.
We would’ve made it even more elaborate, with whistles and sticky-out bits and 3D and everything, but our Photoshop skills only go so far. Mostly because during the course a magazine we worked at sent us on at great expense – ‘Journalism in the multi-media age’ – we were too busy applying strawberry lipsalve to pay much attention.
Strawberry lipsalve really is a wonder.