On a Grindr near you…

George, honestly! We need to be up before we go go!

Hello.

So George Michael’s on Grindr.

*falls off chair; stays for a while ’cause it feels nice*

Apparently, he’s been using Grindr whilst on tour in Australia, to pick up the mens.

Dirty filthy thieving bastard.

We’re on Grindr as we speak *waves*. Someone with a bike as his profile picture Grinded us (we’re assuming everyone’s happy with ‘Grinded’?) and said, ‘You’re hot.’ We replied, ‘Too kind. But we don’t chat to bikes. Good morning!’ and that was that. It was that as well.

Someone then sent us a picture of himself ejaculating. We didn’t know where to look. Still don’t.

That up there is our imagining of George Michael’s Grindr profile. We believe he would put his user name as ‘Michael’ rather than ‘George’ so as to throw people off the scent. They’re a wily bunch those celebrity cock chasers.

We would’ve made it even more elaborate, with whistles and sticky-out bits and 3D and everything, but our Photoshop skills only go so far. Mostly because during the course a magazine we worked at sent us on at great expense – ‘Journalism in the multi-media age’ – we were too busy applying strawberry lipsalve to pay much attention.

Strawberry lipsalve really is a wonder.

 

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6 comments to “On a Grindr near you…”

  1. Can you imagine going on Grindr on Hampstead Heath. He’d be 0metres away at all times.

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  2. He’s a bottom boy I’m sure, except when he uses his car to rearend people. “Hello emergency services, I was just rear-ended by Georgios Kristos Natios Est Michael of Kent. Where? OUTSIDE. No…. A DIFFERENT CORNER. THE EDGE OF HEAVEN. FASTLOVE. He said, I KNEW YOU WERE WAITING FOR ME. Then before he passed out he said WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO.

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  3. :0)

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  4. I j’adore strawberry lipsalve. It’s little wonder you didn’t take much in.

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  5. [...] And remember the good old days when George was on Grindr? [...]

  6. [...] service at Snappy Snaps just off the Finchley Road, George Michael is lying back and thinking of Grindr at his new gaff in London’s glittering Sydney, as pictured here, here and here. And [...]

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