Yes, history lovers, this is Wallis Simpson making eyes at… who is that man?
Just to recap, Wallis married Edward VIII of Her Majesty’s United Kingdom, causing him to have to abdicate – or resign – because she was, by all accounts, a twice-divorced piece of gold-digging trash. And we don’t have that for a Queen in this country. No thank you very much.
It’s a great story especially as she is reputed to have been a very nasty piece of work. But not according to Madonna who is making a film of her life. As far as Madge is concerned – and we’re relying on the hard work of insiders for this information – Wallis was the poor downtrodden victim, who only wanted the love of a good man and was used cruelly by the British Establishment (nice palace they sorted you out in Paris though, eh, love?) The Queen Mother, on the other hand, was brutal and uncaring and a menace.
Which we bloody well hope she was. We do love the story of her phoning round anywhere the Duchess of Windsor was spending the weekend to make sure no one called her Your Royal Highness. Now, that takes organisation!
But Madge, love, you don’t mess with the Queen Mother and get away with it, you know. Not round these parts. We’ve already lost one Princess in a tunnel and we think we can hear Prince Philip snapping on his motorcycle gloves as we type.