Remember the massacre at Srebrenica? Tons of men massacred? It was the gays’ fault, apparently. Too busy braiding each other’s hair and swapping underwear to protect civilians or somesuch

He's married, you know

This is John Sheehan (he’s married you know, to a woman, has the ring and everything). He is a US general and UN commander and in his balanced opinion, it was the gays in the Dutch army that can be held responsible for the terrible massacre at Screbrenica, where a Serb militia slaughtered 8,000 Muslim men. 

Yep, the silly gays were so swept up in the drama of warfare, so busy painting their nails camouflage colours and dollying about in army boots which had had cute little corky wedges attached that the Serbs were able to come in, handcuff them all and make off with the 8,000 Muslims, who they then killed.

Yep, such was the testimony (we’ve coloured it up a little, ’cause it’s a Saturday and who wants to be reading serious news of a weekend when there are aerobics classes to attend and a cute little top to be bought) of Mr. Sheehan to a committee investigating if there is any reason in the whole wide world why gay soldiers can’t fight alongside everyone else. 

If you’re having a feeling of deja vu, the ‘destroying morale’ arguments such as Mr. S is using have been trotted out before when there was a discussion on whether blacks should be able to fight alongside whites in the US Army and whether women should be allowed to fight alongside men in the US Army.

Well, Mr. Sheehan, we have all seen Full Metal Jacket and slept through parts of Hurt Locker. We all know that the US Army is not exactly the most disciplined in the world. Unlike the British Army, which is the most disciplined in the world. And has loads of gays in it. Gays who even take part – in full uniform – in Gay Pride marches.

According to dolly here, the Europeans had ‘made a conscious effort to socialise their military – that includes the unionisation of their militaries, it includes open homosexuality. That led to a force that was ill-equipped to go to war. The case in point that I’m referring to is when the Dutch were required to defend Srebrenica against the Serbs. The battalion was under-strength, poorly led, and the Serbs came into town, handcuffed the soldiers to the telephone poles, marched the Muslims off, and executed them. That was the largest massacre in Europe since world war two.’

Sheehan is currently looking into reasons why gays were also responsible for the San Francisco Earthquake of 1929, The Hundred Years War and plaque.

Read the whole sorry story here.

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More dolly #content:

6 comments to “Remember the massacre at Srebrenica? Tons of men massacred? It was the gays’ fault, apparently. Too busy braiding each other’s hair and swapping underwear to protect civilians or somesuch”

  1. In fairness the U.S. generals on the comittee he was speaking to found his views to be absurd and unfounded. As did the Dutch themselves.

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  2. He answers his own question. They were underfunded. Or is he suggesting the gays spent all the money at Topman

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  3. Much more readable on guardian.co.uk….

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  4. But much, much less entertaining…

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  5. I blame the wooden boots the Dutch soldiers were wearing.

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  6. Further international laughing embarrassment! Although I can assure you that many Americans do NOT share his opinion. WAGER: I bet the majority of those who *do* share his opinion could not find Bosnia on a bloody world map!

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