Ewan McGregor. What can we say about Ewan McGregor. That also involves Madonna.

Ewan McGregor off-of Ssssschottish

When not bum-sexing Jim Carrey in I Love You Phillip Morris (surprisingly good. Not the bum sex, the film. Though we imagine the bum sex was also good. It tends to be. Unless you’re getting bummed by a munter and/or it’s eating into Pineapple Dance Studios) or not being Scottish or not being ginger or not being the nephew of one of our English Literature professors at university (it’s true. Ewan McGregor has relatives!) or not advertising shit smells or not getting his cock out or c) or d), Ewan McGregor is starring in Madonna’s new moving picture.

That one we told you about.


Not to be confused with E.T.

Maybe just a little.

You know, the one about that dirty Wallis ‘Shoes’ Simpson, the rat cunt who dared to fuck around with the Royals off-of royal and suffered a metaphorical kick up her own, well, we were going to say cunt but even that’s been questioned, courtesy of our dear Queen Mum. Mom if you’re from over there but really, Mum. They were sisters-in-law, see.

Ewan McGregor is to play Edward VIII who, upon being a bit retarded and marrying the mister-sister (you can say what you like about the dead so we may as well go to town. And whilst we’re there pick up a few bits for our tea) became the Duke of Windsor and said he-she the Duchess of Windsor (minus any HRH business).

Naturally with Madonna directing it’s a bit of a worry and tradge, but with Alek Keshishian off-of In Bed With Madonna (Truth or Dare if you’re from over there) co-writing, it’s bound to be a little bit queer, dear. We just hope they find a way of working in the line, ‘I’m not changing my show, Freddy!’ There’s ample opp’.

Ooh and oh and yeah, there was something else. Colin Firth is playing George VI in his latest moving p’, The King’s Speech, a show all about George VI, Edward VIII’s brother, trying to overcome his stammer. Geoffrey Rush plays the speech therapist, Helena Bottom Carter plays Princess Elizabeth, Guy Pearce plays Edward VIII.

In conclusion, yes that’s right.

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