‘You molested 200 deaf boys? Well, that’s OK. As long as you’re not a gay, that is’

Ride 'em, cowboy. If they're underage, we mean.

Now, when it comes to moral guidance, we have always got an ear out for anything the Pope may do or say (when he’s not out shopping for bonnets, that is). Gay is bad, adultery OK for instance. Ask any Christian. They don’t mind unmarried couples staying at their hotels, but don’t let them gays, even though there’s a Ten Commandment about adultery and Jesus couldn’t give a rat’s back bottom about the gays.

So even we were surprised to hear that Pope Benny had refused to defrock a priest (they love defrocking choirboys, quick as you like over in that Vatican: you turn round and – woosh – it’s off) even though he had molested 200 deaf boys. 200! Now that’s plain greedy.

Luckily those boys were deaf so no one could understand a damn word they were saying. Therefore, despite the pleadings of a group of American priests, a Vatican committee including Pope Eggs Benedict himself decided there was no harm done, the priest could keep his job and – something really important now – could we all stop throwing jizz-encrusted tissues on the floor and put them in the bins provided.

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5 comments to “‘You molested 200 deaf boys? Well, that’s OK. As long as you’re not a gay, that is’”

  1. Why isn’t this man in prison? Never have there been more atrocities committed under a man’s name since, well, Hitler. And I include the millions continuing to perish of AIDS in Africa. And the gays being beaten to death with metaphorical bibles. And of course the kiddies. This man is sick in the head.

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  2. And why hasn’t the British government withdrawn their invite for his state visit in September? As much as I’m looking forward to the protest which, I think, will be ENORM, it’s a disgrace that he will be welcomed as a guest of the Queen.
    I’d like to add he was a disgrace before all of this, but it’s only this sort of thing that gets the attention of the Daily Mail/Sun types, who are the only ones that make the government take heed,

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  3. I have a good imagination and I can’t imagine anything worse that could still come out. You make children sign oaths ‘before god’ that they won’t tell anyone about being raped then you allow someone to molest disabled children. I’m thinking hard, but I really can’t see where it can go from here.

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  4. Do they sell those nice Pope Cowboy hats in the Vatican Gift Shop? 200 Deaf boys raped while 200 Blind boys watched. I do hope they let the nice mentally unbalanced lady back for the 3rd year in a row to Christmas Eve Mass so she can finally get to the Pope. I think a Papal Hat and Jewelry store would be a great revenue generator. And Papal Condoms – The Pope’s Penis Protector line.

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  5. There’s something evil and sinister within those hallowed walls!!! And that’s not blasphemy – it’s a sad fact!!

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