Daily Cunt tale of cuntiness #878463849393745720452749037492749072390749

Yes we would. Both of you.

Take a look at this picture. It is of Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. They are, by the looks of it, bumming.

The Daily Mail’s Lizzie Smith took this opportunity of the pair of them ‘going public’ at the Coachella Festival to feltch the following:

‘With his thinning hair Kelly Brook’s ex Jason Statham is far from classically handsome.

‘But the burly actor has embarked on a relationship with yet another beautiful girlfriend, supermodel Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.’

Let’s just get one thing straight, Lizzie Borden. We would bum Jason Statham all the way to the 2012 London Olympics, right round the stadium then back again, mid-air after having jumped off the highest board in that swishy Zaha Hadid aqua thing (he’s good at diving. He likes to dive), up that horrific Anish Kapoor contraption, then back to our gaff for a little lie down, before festivities begin all over again.

‘Kay?

We actually can’t think of anyone more classically handsome than he. Hair, no hair, or Hair the musical.

And no doubt Grazia magazine have seen Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s no-bump bump and are currently working on their made-up, ‘Rosie Huntington-Whiteley pregnant!’ no-story story.

Et finit.

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6 comments to “Daily Cunt tale of cuntiness #878463849393745720452749037492749072390749”

  1. Well said, Me Me Me.
    I’d like to see this LIzzie person, just how classically handsome she is.

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  2. Honey I love him, he’s fine, he does a lotta nice things for me.

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  3. Tequilla, I know he used to nice stuff for you, but what has he done for you lately?

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  4. Isn’t he a homophobe? Shouldn’t we all be opposed to the Stathe? Oh God, who can maintain morals in the face of such hotness. Jason, I love thee.

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  5. Well Pilar, funny you should ask. We used to go to dinner almost every night, and dance until I thought I’d lose my breath.

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  6. But now Tequilla his dancin’ feet are always on my couch.

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