Jodie Prenger off-of Nancy off-of Oliver has wiped off the blood from her Bill Sikes beating, put her bosoms away and is off to play the Lady in the Lake in Monty Python’s Spamalot – buy your tickets by clicking here etc.In celebration of the fact, we asked you to gently, and with protective headgear, place your questions withinside of her. And, trouper that she is, she lay steady and took the lot (sidebar: she goes onto our top 5 list of favouritest people we’ve ever put your questions inside of. Of)…
Would you not say that Dame Shirley Bassey’s ‘As Long As He Needs Me’ was the definitive version? Was it daunting to have to follow that kind of act? Bernard
[Putting on a Dame Shirley Bassey voice] No, not at all because I owe Dame Shirley Bassey my living. I grew up in hotels because my family ran hotels in Blackpool and when we got a coachload in my nan would stand there miming to Shirley Bassey. So, in a way, I am a homage to drag queens and Dame Shirley Bassey.
I’d Do Anything was so much better than this Dorothy crap. Agree or not agree? Uma
I would have loved it if Nancy had been able to go off on a flying London Bridge [The loser could have got clubbed to death by Bill Sikes, we suggest] Yes! Yes! Kit off, clubbed to death, dragged off by Bullseye. You’re off!
Has John Barrowman ever placed his penis in your hand? Tom Cruising
[Laughs] No, but I’ve placed mine! Only joking. I know he does that but he’s gorgeous, isn’t he? But I’ve not had it in my hand.
Has John Barrowman ever placed his penis on your head? Antony Simpson
Am I really that short?
If you weren’t doing this right now, what would you be doing? Keep it clean. Bi-curious
I’m amazed and honoured that I’m still doing what the public put me in place to do. I could have done Oliver and then gone and had a bowl of chicken soup with me mum and dad so I’m so lucky to be doing stuff with the BBC. It’s my dream job, and doing Spamalot and the radio and the lottery. I’m just lucky that people put up with me.
Your entrance at the final of the Biggest Loser UK is my favourite television moment of all time and one I have spent many hours imitating. Which reality TV show do you intend to dominate next? I’d go for The Apprentice [OR the ApPrengis] before taking on I’m a Celebrity. Buffalowilliam
A triple whammy! I don’t know if I could do one. Not I’m A Celebrity. Bugs! No! Trip to Australia but I’m petrified of bugs. I don’t think I could do another one, it would be greedy. I could do The Biggest Gainer and put it all back on!
Did Anthony Lloyd Webber ever touch you inappropriately? Joe E. Deacon
[Puts on corny American accent] He touched my heart. No, he’s been so lovely. Him and Cameron. Not Karen, Cameron [Mackintosh]. Yeah, Karen from Will & Grace. I want to be Karen when I grow up. [The talk drifts towards lesbian acts].
If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be? Simon
I would be a tomato, because it’s confusing. A mysterious fruit.
Part a) Would you do anything?
Part b) Did you do it all?
Part c) Did any of it hurt? Champagne for Lulu
Part one, love the name Champagne for Lulu. I always like to try a bit of everything. Even when I was huge, I did a sky dive and I was too big for one of the jump suits so I wore a tracksuit and when the wind hit it, it just blew up. I think try everything once and then go back and try it twice. And if it didn’t hurt it wasn’t worth doing in the first place.