Pam Grier off-of Foxy Brown and off-of Jackie Brown and off-of fingernails-on-buzzer genius, is releasing her memoirs this week.
They are wet-weeing delish.
Here is an excerpt, in which Pam describes a conversation with her doctor. It also works as a timely reminder to keep wetwipes in your bedside drawer and swipe your lover’s/lovers’ penis/es before entry of any description, each and every time. SohelpyoubabyJeeze.
He said, “Pam, I want to tell you about an epidemic that’s prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It’s a build-up of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. You have it. Are you doing drugs?”
“No,” I said, astonished.
“Well, it’s really dangerous,” he went on. “Is your partner putting cocaine on his penis to sustain his erection?”
“No,” I said, “not that I know of. It’s not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his penis in it before we have sex.” I had a nauseating flash of one of Richard’s famous lines: Even my dick has a cocaine jones.
“Are you sure he isn’t doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?” the doctor asked.
“That’s a possibility,” I said. “You know, I am dating Richard Pryor.”
“Oh, my God,” he said. “We have a serious problem here. If he’s not putting it on his skin directly, then it’s worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid.”
*sucks a lemon bon bon*
And here’s a little reminder of the fingernails-on-buzzer genius. With Spanish subtitles. Why not?
Cosy bedtime reading ,