Cosy bedtime reading

F-yeeah, Jyaaaaaaaaa-kee.

Pam Grier off-of Foxy Brown and off-of Jackie Brown and off-of fingernails-on-buzzer genius, is releasing her memoirs this week.

They are wet-weeing delish.

Here is an excerpt, in which Pam describes a conversation with her doctor. It also works as a timely reminder to keep wetwipes in your bedside drawer and swipe your lover’s/lovers’ penis/es before entry of any description, each and every time. SohelpyoubabyJeeze.

He said, “Pam, I want to tell you about an epidemic that’s prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It’s a build-up of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. You have it. Are you doing drugs?”

“No,” I said, astonished.

“Well, it’s really dangerous,” he went on. “Is your partner putting cocaine on his penis to sustain his erection?”

“No,” I said, “not that I know of. It’s not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his penis in it before we have sex.” I had a nauseating flash of one of Richard’s famous lines: Even my dick has a cocaine jones.

“Are you sure he isn’t doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?” the doctor asked.

“That’s a possibility,” I said. “You know, I am dating Richard Pryor.”

“Oh, my God,” he said. “We have a serious problem here. If he’s not putting it on his skin directly, then it’s worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid.”

*sucks a lemon bon bon*

And here’s a little reminder of the fingernails-on-buzzer genius. With Spanish subtitles. Why not?

 

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3 comments to “Cosy bedtime reading”

  1. Oh… ;-(

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  2. Well that’s sexy.

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  3. Don’t you just hate it when men get cocaine in their sperm?

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