Helena Christensen is our favourite of the Helenas. Alongside, of course, Helena Bottom Carter and Ellen.
She has stripped to her birthdate clobber to flog Reebok’s new EasyTone trainers. We imagine – and it is a toughy – that the message here is, ‘Wear Reebok’s new EasyTone trainers, look like Helena Christensen.’ And it’s forcing us to believe it.
And fiiiiiiiii-nally, a pair of those ‘toning’ trainers that are only seen on Grazia-reading trouts who haven’t seen their vaginas without the aid of a hand-held mirror since 1973, which don’t look like those retarded ‘toning’ trainers only worn by Grazia-reading trouts who haven’t seen their vaginas since 1973, unless aided by a hand-held mirror.
*buys Reebok’s new EasyTone trainers; waits*