(You’re riveted already, right?)
So ‘Alex from Manchester’ writes into Zoo magazine to ask their agony uncle, Danny Dyer, what on earth he should do.
‘Alex from Manchester’, who is in no way, shape or even form the work experience, is given the following advice from Danny Dyer.
‘Cut your ex’s face, and then no one will want her.’
And, piff-paff-poof, it’s the most press Zoo magazine has had since 1973.
*hides under duvet*