The Pope – spotted here on a hen night, sporting a rather unsightly cold sore (what’s the matter with you? Haven’t you heard of Compeed patches?) – says that Catholic priests molesting children is the fault of Catholic priests. Sorry, must have read that bit wrong…

You go, girl. No, go. Really. Just go.

Having blamed the gays, the Jews, sundry devils in and around the Vatican, Kimberley off-of Girls Aloud, the nice lady in Pret a Manger who sometimes sneaks us a free Americano (hold the cream!), Diana Ross and the Supremes featuring Cindy Birdsong, the original cast of Are You Being Served and Bagpuss, His Filthiness the Pope has come clean with something we long suspected.

The priests who abused the children are the ones to blame.

It beggars – nay, buggers – belief, we know, but apparently those people who did it, you know, did it. Are responsible for what they did. And who they did.

Whatever next? An admission that maybe not all gays dance with the devil? While high on the controversial drug Ecstasy? We feel you may have to wait a very long time for that.

In the meantime, would you like this next dance Mr. Beelzebub?

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2 comments to “The Pope – spotted here on a hen night, sporting a rather unsightly cold sore (what’s the matter with you? Haven’t you heard of Compeed patches?) – says that Catholic priests molesting children is the fault of Catholic priests. Sorry, must have read that bit wrong…”

  1. How much is the PR at the Vatican getting paid not to have given this advice before? Say sorry, mea culpa, and move on. It’s day one in PR School surely.

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  2. By the by, who is protesting when he sets cloven hoof onto British soil later this year? I am :)

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