She is a pillar of society. A fragrant lady without equal. A gentleman, a scholar, an acrobat. She is the lady who once phoned us up on a very small-scale gay magazine saying, ‘Hello, it’s Joanna Lumley here. I was sitting in my trailer on set and wondered if you’d like to interview me…’
And she may be heading to the Palace for a big old honour. Like a Damehood! Or something big and sparkly like that. We personally would suggest Order of the Garter because she looks great in navy blue and ostrich feathers but strictly speaking we don’t have that much say at the Palace. You know, just a bit. Enough to get furniture shifted.
Also on her way to the Palace is Simon Cowell, also hoping for Damehood. And it wasn’t because he came out as a Tory before the last erection either (shame on you, Simes, though we can’t say we’re all that surprised). Not for his contribution to shit telly and execrable pop acts over the years, you understand, that honour. More for the fact he once rattled a tin for something or other charity-style.
All this information has been confirmed by senior saucies in Whitehall.