Clive Owen grows a moustache. The country’s gone to the dogs.

Freddy?

Hello.

Clive Owen has grown a moustache. Or a ‘tache, if we’re saving letters.

Nhjtjirngkglrmfngjkfrks.

There’s only one thing we hate more than waste, and that’s Gok Wan.

As for Clive’s dolly ‘tache? How very Nigel Mansell/Freddy Mercury/Telly Savales/Salvador Dali/Friedrich Nietzsche/Horatio Herbert, 1st Earl Kitchener of Khartoum/Magnum PI/Peaches Geldof.

And he’s done it for his new moving picture which is called The Killer Elite and is filming in Melbourne. Whatever for?

But that’s enough of that. Let’s have more of this (it’s nudity, by the way)…

Peaches 'n' cream 'n' white wee. Ditch the bird, then we'll talk. Steady as she goes. From behind, gently. Baby steps. Hello? Is it us you're looking for? Now we're talking.
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