To celebrate 20 years in the schmutter business, Dolce & Gabbana answer your fashion questions. Like, ‘Is a snood ever acceptable on the soccer pitch?’

Always have your shirt open to the crotch

What Stephanie Gabbana and Dominique Dolce don’t know about fashion could be written on the back of a burqa… in very small print. They are the bee’s knees of style, the cat’s pyjamas of fashion, the Cameron and Clegg of wearing shirts slashed to the navel and strategically ripping your jeans so you look like Faith-era George Michael crossed with a Sao Paolo rent boy. And they have been twenty years in the business, darling.

To celebrate two whole decades of turning the world’s women into transsexual hookers and its men into, well, David Beckham, they are throwing themselves open to public questioning on the subject of fashion.

Why are Italian gays the worst dressed gays in the world? Will slashed jeans teamed with big, flashy belt buckles ever come into fashion? Can a real woman wear the D&G men’s singlet? Is mutton in fact lamb? Do those male models have to get bummed to get the gig?

Whatever fashion quandry you might have – yes, your bum does look big in that; yes, clogs and pop socks do jar aesthetically, so you should wear them; yes, you should be very afraid of colour – you can put it to the raggazzi here.

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One comment to “To celebrate 20 years in the schmutter business, Dolce & Gabbana answer your fashion questions. Like, ‘Is a snood ever acceptable on the soccer pitch?’”

  1. I would like to ask D&G, when they’ve finished on David Gandy’s cock, can I have a go…

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