His name is Mike Phillips (not to be confused with Mark Phillips, once married to HRH The Princess Royal), he is Welsh, though strangely not called Jones and he is huge with a pile of huge on his head making him even huger.
He has dumped one of those girls who wears bikinis for the News of the World but is probably a really nice girl with a full career in her own right, for a pop star. Like Dannii Minogue (also going out with huge, cuter-than-she-is rugby star) but this time with an actual singing voice.
She’s small. She’s Welsh. She has just one name (no, not Lulu, we said Welsh). We like her music. We don’t like her face much. We suspect she may be a bit *looks both ways, lowers voice* common, judging by her clothes…
She is… Find out over the break where you’ll see a picture of Little and Large. If you can’t be bothered or are operating a smart phone where links are a faff, we’ll give you a clue. It’s Duffy.