As the people who spent a day with Ricky Martin and came to the conclusion that he didn’t seem gay, maybe we’re not the right crowd to comment on this…

Who is? Who isn't? Who might be?

Oh, it’s a great game that sort of belongs in the 50s. But then the American entertainment industry sort of still is in the 50s, if you think that of all those dolly old actors in Hollywood, there’s not a single American gay one. Oh, except for Bradley Cooper (he laughed when we put it to him, but then a lot of people put it to him. The rumour that is).

According to the National Enquirer’s latest research (they found time in their busy schedule from making up headlines Grazia-style about Jen being back with Brad and Elvis living in a condo on the moon), Ricky Martin is gay. As is someone called Meredith Baxter. As is Wanda Sykes. As is Ellen.

Bono is probably not gay – can we get an ‘amen’ in the house. Failing that, can we get men in the house – even though he kissed his best friend.  GaGa is bi (we know another major female singer who is but we’re not allowed to tell you. And it’s killing us!), Jada Pinkett Smith says that she and her husband Will Smith are not gay (listen! It’s the sound of single eyebrows going up all over the world), while Whitney ‘mainly prefers men’. Yeah, when they said she was a big fan of crack, they were apparently talking drugs.

Diana Ross apparently is not a lesbian though she can change spark plugs.

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5 comments to “As the people who spent a day with Ricky Martin and came to the conclusion that he didn’t seem gay, maybe we’re not the right crowd to comment on this…”

  1. National Enquirer stating the obvious. Surprised to see LIBERACE not on the list.
    What is the fascination with OUTING people? Being gay is not the plague!!!

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  2. Is it not? I can stop taking the drugs then…

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  3. What was Cher’s OLD life threatening condition? Clearly it wasn’t quite as grim as the Enqurier had prophecised, but I still feel behind the curve…

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  4. *rushes out to buy National Enquirer to read about Cher*

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  5. Elvis and Michael Jackson sharing condo on the moon. Michael moonwalks for exercise.

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