Geri in, Fat Tits Willoughby out, you do the hokey cokey and you turn around…

Urgh!

When it comes to the X Factory, our expectations are so low that a snake couldn’t limbo under them. Which is why it is with a shrug, an examine of something on the end of our finger that came out of our nose and a scratch of the groin (and not in a fun way!) that we bring you the news that Geri off-of Spice will be replacing Dannii off-of knocked-up on the auditions panel of this autum’s rivetting series. 

She is, of course, the perfect choice to judge vocalists seeing as she sings as well as Dannii (which reminds us of the time we asked Geri how it felt to be the Spice Girl who couldn’t sing. ‘That wasn’t me!’ she protestethed. ‘Oh, yes it was. Everyone said it,’ we carried on – for quite a long time to a devastated Gez. It was only when we got back to the office and told the room how deluded she was that we were reminded it was Victoria who couldn’t sing. Not Geri. Damn research workie!).

And in more great to good news, Holly ‘Fat Tits’ Willoughby is off Xtra Factory, you know the show where they wander round the corridors asking people about their dreams and their journeys (and not in a ‘wading through toffee while chased by your mum in Speedos while you’re supposed to be doing an exam’ or ‘I got the 38, thank you for asking’ kind of way either).

We can hardly… *rests head on desk, just for a moment, to feel the cool glass top against the forehead. Closes eyes, just to rest them, is transported far, far away…* wait.

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4 comments to “Geri in, Fat Tits Willoughby out, you do the hokey cokey and you turn around…”

  1. But seriously, why the fuck does Fat Tits Willoughby get work? I literally do not know a single person who does not detest her. I even did a survery. The results will probably be on GMTV tomorrow.

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  2. This is GREAT news! The other day I found myself thinking ‘Geri Halliwell is a lot more normal than I give her credit for’ so this will be a well timed reminder of what a complete and total fruit bat she is

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  3. Geri Halliwell … she is to me what Kylie is to Me-Me-Me! :-) What can I say about Geri? You can’t polish a turd but you *can* roll it in glitter? Yeah — that’ll do! :-p The idea of her judging talent is rather amusing, frankly. Geri isn’t un-charming or alarmingly thick in interviews so I’m sure she’s panel-ready & capable. Just don’t let her sing, please!

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  4. This is GREAT news! The other day I found myself thinking ‘Geri Halliwell is a lot more normal than I give her credit for’ so this will be a well timed reminder of what a complete and total fruit bat she is

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