He may occasionally be more of an irritant than a finger up the bum (we’re not saying a finger up the bum – and by extension Jake Shears – isn’t sometimes highly enjoyable and liable to hit the spot – quite literally! – but you don’t want it all the time, do you?), but at least Jake Shears off-of Scissor Sisters has a passing acquaintance with attractiveness.
But Elton John! Adam Lambert? Antony off-of Antony and the Johnsons? The lantern-jawed bore that is Will ‘I’m an intellectual even though I only got a 2:2 at a lame university after my really rather wealthy parents had lavished thousands on private education’ Young? Are these really the hottest gay musicians in the whole wild world? According to a website we’ve never heard of and won’t give the oxygen of publicity they are.
We’ll accept Babydaddy of Scissors and of course Jake (he might have to shut up a bit though). We will also accept there is something attractive about ex-Savage Gardener Darren Hayes (we got a bit hot under the waistband of our designer briefs once when he started talking about his cock in an interview: and this BEFORE he came out!) and maybe even, if we stretch it, Rufus Wainwright (though he would definitely have to shut the fuck up).
Things get a little better towards the top of the chart with George Michaels (then, not now), though we were surprised to see Ricky Martin beaten to the, ahem, top spot by Kele off-of Bloc Party.
Our votes for Cliff Richards obviously got lost in the post.
Any list of the Sexiest Gay Musicians that includes Elton John is surely on a hiding to nothing,