Once upon a time there was a baby bear, a mummy bear, a daddy bear, a bear that daddy fucked on the side and a bear who sometimes snuck in of an evening whilst mummy and daddy bear were asleep, robbed them blind, rimmed them, then left.
That actually happened to someone we know *waves*. We had to subsitute the real names for bears because, well, it’s just the done thing in these circumstances.
Back to sneezing. Sneezing’s fun, right? And you know what everyone said at school, that a sneeze is an eighth of an orgasm? Totally true. L’Oreal did a survey. They asked 211 people – in spite of having billions of pounds worth of resources at their disposal – and 82% agreed. Some of them didn’t even have to be fobbed off by mascara that lengthens your lashes 12,472%. Some of their lashes go as far as here…!
Which is why this bear is sneezing. He’s saying, ‘Look at me, I embrace life.’
See for yourselves. You’ll find we’re probably completely right.