Poor old John Terry. He’s not having the best of times.
Not only do the hookers blow the whistle on him every time. Not only does he get stripped *thinks about John Terry being stripped for a moment* of his England captaincy. Not only do his family show him up by getting up to all sorts of naughties. Not only is he a chav to the very core. Not only but also…
He’s the only one to have the balls (we like the look of the balls, btw) to stand up to that quite frankly Mr. Shankly ridiculous Fabio person with the big hair (perhaps a working knowledge of English might help in your work managing the English team, Mr. Fab and we’ll be the judge of the Fab thing, if you don’t mind).
And then, when he has made the players’ feelings clear to Fabio-with-the-hair, he gets it in the neck for having had the cojones (we like balls in all languages), with Fabio refering to the confrontation as a ‘big mistake’, which sounds terribly Mafia-y to us. Lock up your horse heads, kids. Oh, and thanks for the support, other players.
So, if you should see JT, remember he needs a hug. And if he happens to be in soccer shorts and you happen to be able to feel the shape of his cock pressed up against you while you do it, then so be it. It is for England, remember.
He has one of the cheekiest, perkiest bulges in all football and he needs your love right now!,