Sorry, Jesus love, you’re going to have to come down from there. It turns out that you didn’t die on a cross after all. That’s back to the drawing board with centuries worth of imagery, isn’t it?
What it is is… some scholar called Gunnar Samuelsson (which is apparently a name) has posited that the myth of the crucifixion is not actually based on anything in ancient texts, which tend, in fact, to point towards Jesus being given a lethal injection. Not really, that would be silly. Just as silly as him dying on the cross in fact *fiddles with golden crucifix about neck. Rips it off in disgust at being tricked into buying it*
‘If you are looking for texts that depict the act of nailing persons to a cross you will not find any beside the Gospels,’ says Mr. S, a staunch Christiano himself, therefore hardly to be trusted on matters related to the truth.
Apparently, the contemporary ancient texts (the Gospels were made up years later; think of it as like you writing an eye-witness account of something that went on around the time of Marie Antoinette) refer to Jesus being attached to an ‘execution device’ not a cross.
We’re thinking maybe an electric chair or a guillotine. What do you think about either of those in miniature versions around your neck in gold? Or hanging over the altar in your local church so you can bob a curtsey as you go by? Hey, it could work.