Oh, look, Pete Burns has a new single out! Though it’s not ‘You Spin Me Round’ so it can’t be Pete Burns.

Burns, baby, Burns

No, silly, it is the skank formerly known as Jordan, whose pout now comes out further than her nose (maybe her body is in an evolutionary way getting ready for when she gets punched in the mouth), with a new single called ‘Free To Love Again’. Oh. You can love, can you? And again? Don’t pull a muscle, love.
Hope it’s as good as her bedwares. And her horsewares. And her books (we’re not reading them till she does).

We did once like Jordan. Back when everyone thought she was just a vile slag (everyone wasn’t that wrong, by the way) she had a certain charmless charm and was funny and charmlessly charming and outrageously outrageous and you can even see us on TV with her talking about cock (what else is there?) back when she was charmlessly rude in the right way. Now the charmlessness has won through.

The ‘Free to Love’ reference apparently references the reference Peter ‘Andre’ Andre gave to the presses when the divorce came through last year. ‘I’m now free to love!’ his press release referenced. And word to the wise… don’t believe that nicey-nice shit he does. It’s utter shit.

As for Jordan’s single, we imagine it sounds like a bag of shite. Which ironically is her mantra for life.

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More dolly #content:

7 comments to “Oh, look, Pete Burns has a new single out! Though it’s not ‘You Spin Me Round’ so it can’t be Pete Burns.”

  1. silly cunt

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  2. He looks like slapper extraordinaire Katy Price, in which case Antony’s comment is true in every sense…

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  3. oops, maybe I should bother reading the article first? Nah, s’too hot.

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  4. That made me laugh… the article and Nolan Sis’s comment…
    ps. Innit hot.

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  5. I’ve heard this track already. It’s not big or clever but I’ve suffered through worse. However, that’s not at all saying it’s good! She’s promised to sing it absolutely live on Alan Carr: Chatty Man. *That* I will certainly watch! I’m still astounded that this woman managed to make me feel bad for Peter Andre … but she did.

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  6. I totally agree with Richard. As much as it annoys me that Peter Andre has become a total ITV2 whore and just plain sucks at everything, I actually feel for him, and especially the children he had with Jordan, too. Jordan is such a skank. It just totally escapes me how she became famous in the first place, and yet she’s plastered all over those trashy glossy magazines. Truth is, Jordan, no one actually gives a SHIT about you. Someone call social services and take her children off of her, PLEASE.

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  7. she was funny in the early days, now she’s just a deluded cunt

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