Another retarded Catholic priest says gays are the work of the devil. Usual stuff, then.

Shit-shifting devil

And this time, the baton of hatred has passed to some dolly called Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio, who is the highest-ranking greedy bottom in Argentina. Did we say greedy bottom? We totally meant agressive top.

Legislation to allow gay marriage in Argentina is currently going through parliament (theirs, not ours), and Jorge is frothing at the anus at the mere thought of it.

‘Let’s not be naive, we’re not talking about a simple political battle,’ he said in a letter to the collective retards of Buenos Aires, who naively call themselves ‘monasteries’. What year is this?

‘It is a destructive pretension against the plan of God.’

Honestly, the arrogance on it! What sort of pumped-up little cock would presume God told them his plan, and not the gays? Word up – the gays are the nicest of all the races (ask anyone) and if God’s gonna be giving a private screening of his itinerary, it’s sure as hell and damnation and whiskers on kittens gonna be to them. O-kaaaaay?

We digress. Too much shit-shifting.

‘We are not talking about a mere bill,’ Jorge continues, whilst dreaming of big balls, ‘but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God.’

Father of Lies? We likey. And Children of God? As in the Swans album? Swans? As in the pretty white things? Pretty? As in this old thaaang? We only wear it when we don’t care how we look….

Shit alive, we digress again.

So Cardinal Shit Stirrer/Shifter asked parish clergy to read out declarations of the ‘true’ definition of marriage (could you imagine having to sit through that?) and also threw in his other little threepenny bit of paranoia, which said that gay adoption was a form of discrimination against children.

Er, child needs home; child in need is given home by nice people.

*looks around room; looks at watch; looks around room; waits for fire and brimstone; looks at watch* 

Luckily (and let’s face it, some countries ain’t so lucky) Argentina has a sane president, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, who said the following in response:

‘It is disturbing to hear phrases like war of God or the devil’s projects, which are things that take us back to medieval times and the Inquisition.’

She’s also kinda hot.


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More dolly #content:

7 comments to “Another retarded Catholic priest says gays are the work of the devil. Usual stuff, then.”

  1. Oi … padre … how about you preach & believe whatever you want at your church and at your home? Fairy tales have no place in government or, indeed, in a rational, educated society — so shut the fuck up. Gracias! {*binkies in ultra-cute manner*}

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  2. Well done Guys, very VERY funny.
    Like it should be.
    Cos they’re silly, and as every good frenchman knows, ridiculous.
    Alarm bells really should ring when someone tells you that only they know the truth.

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  4. Hallelujah!

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  5. Hysterically written. Bravo!

    If it’s been passed, now Cardinal Jorge can go back to molesting children again under the guise of religious superiority.

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  6. Today, July 15th 2010 is a histroric day in Argentina, my beloved country: Senate aproved gay marriage, the first country in latin america. Bergoglio: “Dont cry for me, Argentina “

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  7. The Catholic Church continues to become increasingly irrelevant.

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