Dita, love, can you please stop being such a dick?

Honestly, woman. Get a grip.

Imagine if the women of the world went around like Dita Von Teese, who, as far as we can see, is neither use nor ornament. Especially not ornament. And especially not use. If you’re going to be a stripper, love, at least afford us the basic human decency of taking your knickers off!

Anyways, here she is in what can only be described as an advert for Perrier water, which no one buys anymore. Remember when sparkling water was so all about Perrier that no one knew the words ‘sparkling water’, they only knew the word ‘Perrier’?

The behaviour that we find borderline retarded is…

a). the continual re-angling of the face to camera.

b). the stiffness of limb which we think we’re supposed to read as a propensity to stick the bottom out.

c). the pouring of Perrier (or Perry Water) over her clothing. Now, we’ve done that when we have inadvertantly spotted a much-loved item of couture with, say, a delicious hot curry sauce dripping out of a kebab. But never in a sexual way.

Well, inasmuchas everything we do is sort of in a sexual way.

See the daft tart over the jump. If you can be bothered. We’ll understand if you have dry cleaning to pick up or an itchy arse to scratch…

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4 comments to “Dita, love, can you please stop being such a dick?”

  1. She so can’t do sexy. Which is ironic seeing as her whole career is based on doing sexy.

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  2. Hey, Joan Crawford eyebrows do NOT make you Joan.

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  3. Christina! GET ME THE AXE !!!

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  4. Silly girl, didn’t get any in her mouth!

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