Let’s face it, who hasn’t used that line down the Joiners’ Arms of a Saturday night? Or even a Friday? It works almost as well as, ‘Hold still, I think you have an eyelash on your cheek! Now, I’ve sorted that out, how about you repay me by taking this flaccid penis in your mouth?’
But chapeaux (that means ‘congratulations’ in another language. Workie assures us it’s Italian) to Jack Osbourne for breaking the Hollywood rule of not taking the piss out of major Hollywood movie stars. Or Mel Gibson.
In a related story which allows us to show off somewhat, we met a very major – if not entirely undull – Hollywood movie star recently and they would not put their name, much less their signature, to our ‘Mel Gibson is an utter cock’ petition, which we carry about our person at all times.
Stop us and ask to sign if you see anyone wearing a ‘Lose weight now, ask me how’ badge. It’s our other job, though our answer is usually, ‘Well, you could start by not being so greedy with food…’