This lady here don’t want it up the bum, no way, no how… She’ll even hold a placard there to deflect any penises! No, you hear? Not even just the tip.

Not on your nelly!

When it comes to maintaining super-high moral standards, there is nowhere these ladies won’t go to make sure no one, not even in the privacy of their own back bedrooms, is putting certain things in certain parts of other people’s bodies. Not without their say so.

They are just as stringent when it comes to the choice of fragrance in a Glade Plug-In and the use of pedestal mats around toilets even though, in the words of Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, they should, and we quote, ‘mind your own fucking business and go and help the poor with their shopping, motherfucker!’

The scene takes place is Ireland, one of the last bastions of retarded Catholic spell-making, where a very important – if woefully late-in-coming – piece of legislation takes effect, extending marriage-like benefits to gay and lesbian couples in the areas of property, social welfare, succession, maintenance, pensions and tax.

The first civil registrations for same-sex couples are likely to take place next January if the Pope hasn’t bombed Ireland by then.

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6 comments to “This lady here don’t want it up the bum, no way, no how… She’ll even hold a placard there to deflect any penises! No, you hear? Not even just the tip.”

  1. “In the words of Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, they should, and we quote, ‘mind your own fucking business and go and help the poor with their shopping, motherfucker!”
    Genius.

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  2. At least they’re being polite about it but honestly people… why do you care so much?

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  3. Sodomy IS evil!!!…..if done correctly.

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  4. Sodomy rocks! (It just so happens that I’m in teh mood.) Anyhooo, if they fancy not the sodomy … errrrr … don’t engage in sodomy. I’ll never understand people’s psychotic obsessions about what other people do consensually in private. I’m not a christian, Missy — so what other rationale do you have for being all up in my business? :-)

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  5. Who wants to go near that big fat ass anyway?

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  6. I know gays that don’t bum & I know str8s that bum girls in the back bottom.
    These “holding signs” people never go on about oral being wrong – Cos they’re all MASSIVE COCKSUCKERS.

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