There we were, wondering whether there really was big trouble in little China whilst rearranging the pile of business cards so that they are in complete symmetry with the edge of the desk otherwise it will be bad sex for three years, when we got to thinking – whatever happened to LA Gear trainers with two-tone laces tied in such a way as to resemble a chess board?
Once we got over that quandary, we got to thinking – where on earth *expands arms* is David Gandy’s penis?
Watching this new advert from dolly Dolce and even dollier Gabanna for their new smelly Light Blue (we’ll be the judge of that) over and over and under again, we realised that David Gandy off-of, you know, stuff, has absolutely no penis. Honestly, we know it’s early but really – not even a finger o’ fudge just enough to give your hole a tweak?
*looks under Elle Deco*
Don’t be silly, we don’t read Elle Deco.
*looks under World of Interiors*
What about now?
*shakes head; sobs*
Where's David Gandy's penis gone?,