Where’s David Gandy’s penis gone?

What we lookin' at?

There we were, wondering whether there really was big trouble in little China whilst rearranging the pile of business cards so that they are in complete symmetry with the edge of the desk otherwise it will be bad sex for three years, when we got to thinking – whatever happened to LA Gear trainers with two-tone laces tied in such a way as to resemble a chess board?

Once we got over that quandary, we got to thinking – where on earth *expands arms* is David Gandy’s penis?

Watching this new advert from dolly Dolce and even dollier Gabanna for their new smelly Light Blue (we’ll be the judge of that) over and over and under again, we realised that David Gandy off-of, you know, stuff, has absolutely no penis. Honestly, we know it’s early but really – not even a finger o’ fudge just enough to give your hole a tweak?

*looks under Elle Deco*

Don’t be silly, we don’t read Elle Deco.

*looks under World of Interiors*

Nothing.

What about now?

Is it a matter for the police? 

*shakes head; sobs*

Now…?

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 6.2/10 (6 votes cast)

Where's David Gandy's penis gone?, 6.2 out of 10 based on 6 ratings

More dolly #content:

17 comments to “Where’s David Gandy’s penis gone?”

  1. *tugs at Speedo strings, to make sure*

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  2. Like you wouldn’t do him anyway, huh?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  3. Course! He’s me me me’s boyfriend. They’ve been dating for months.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  4. You’d think, if he’s gonna be on the telly, he’d have a little fluff first to make it perkier, right? Unless they’re purposely going for the no-cock look, so as not to scare the (straight) punters.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  5. I have his penis over here, if you’re still looking.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  6. Look, it was the 12th take, in may the water was still fucking freezing, ok?

    Love you all. (No, not in that way.)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  7. Nice try Dave, but where’s your goosebumps from that freezing water? If they airbrushed them out you could have asked them to fluff up your packet, like Beckham did. Please try (and get) harder.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  8. And if he’s really serious about his modelling career he would’ve cut out the lining of those Speedos.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  9. Don’t want to give him a complex, but looking at that video, I don’t think he’s got that much of an arse either.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  10. I have a VERY NICE bottom thankyouverymuch. Look.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  11. I think it’s only really fair that David gets a hard-on and invites us all round to watch.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  12. Ok, ok. It’s nothing to write home about, but we’re happy together. Stop hating on me. .-((((

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  13. Don’t worry about them, David! Mine is a definitely a grower-not-a-show-er, too. I’ve an ample 8-inch-er (real inches — not those naughty “internet inches”) that will all but disappear in cold water! Just how it is … life goes on. I know it’s there. A few have known its glory — but I digress. :-)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  14. Rich, honey, you’re getting me all worked up…!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  15. [*shakes it all about*]

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  16. His penis was “desguised” with special effects. D&G is selling a perfume… not penis!! It would be a distraction… muahuauah

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  17. *disguised

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Leave a comment