From now on, this is the only way we’ll allow our lives to be documented. We will not even accept Hipstamatic prints.

Ain't she a picture!

Even though we’re convinced we’ve already seen pictures of a sobbing Lindsay Lohan in court and even though we were calorie-counting in our dreams last night, we’re enjoying this artist’s rendition of Lindsay Lohan in court.

If we were writing for a magazine, a sub editor would at this point tell us that we used ‘Lindsay Lohan in court’ twice in one sentence and draw a raised eyebrow with his eye pencil by way of disapproval. But that’s why most magazines read like the back of a packet of Hot Pockets, apart from the ones we write for. The ones we write for are just delightful.

But doesn’t court suit Lindsay Lohan! Can’t quite put our fingers on it, but the tits are juicier, the hair bouncier, the waist all tucked and a raring to go, the cheekbones three inches higher, the mouth perkier than a rat’s cunt and the eyebrows have all the range of an ECG. She’s even getting felt up from behind.

Aren’t courts fun!

Mona Shafer (we know her!) drew this. She even does it for a living. We like how she has watercolours at her disposal. See, that’s why America’s great. Here, they just get a stumpy bit of coal; there they get the full range of Biro, watercolours palette, all the right brushes, and two glasses of water – one for mixing, the other for washing. Land of the Free? We should Coca Cola!

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More dolly #content:

3 comments to “From now on, this is the only way we’ll allow our lives to be documented. We will not even accept Hipstamatic prints.”

  1. Wow, that illustration is FASHION!

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  2. That looks more like Sarah Cracknell from Saint Etienne.

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  3. Sarah will be thrilled! But yes I agree.

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