1. He steals a glass of champagne from a gay man. You wanna watch yourself, Murs!
2. The gay man is a flouncy dolly.
3. There is a woman in it wearing real fur!
4. The song sounds like some hideous cross-fertilisation between UB40 and Will Young.
5. There is no discernible lump in Ollie’s trousers, which is, after all, the whole point of Ollie Murs.
Oh, and twelve other things. Count them for yourself over the jump…