Here he is! The Catholic Church’s answer to J.K. Rowling. Only without all the superstitious ‘work of the devil’ bits, obv.
Yes, lucky readers of books, His Hole-iness the Pope is to write a children’s book. Well, you know how them Catholic priests just love their kiddies.
It will feature a penguin who is being brought up by his two gay penguin dads but rebels and decides that he will become a transvestite and wear heels and sparkly dinner dresses and go around calling everyone ‘girlfriend’.
The moral of the story is that drag is fun and if any children want to go round and stroke puppies at the Pope’s house, they’re very welcome.
Correction: the story is in fact called The Friends of Jesus (needs work!) and in it, according to someone very high up in flouncywear, the Pope ‘takes us by the hand…’ Yeah, know your game, matey… ‘and accompanies us as we discover who Jesus’s first companions were, how they met Him and were conquered by Him to the point that they never abandoned Him.’
Sounds like a riotous homoerotic romp to us. We’re in!