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*pricks with pin; whizzes round room making funny sound, room jumps up and down and claps*
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- We’re actually still trying to work out who Kim Kardashian is. In the meantime, let’s look at this magazine cover.
- Horrible door.
- Which English actor who we already have a major crush on has a bottom like this?
- Cheryl and Ashley are finally divorced. The world stops moving, like in that show FlashForward that was on Channel Five, ergo, nobody watched it.
- And the Marc Jacobs award for Never Knowingly Appearing in a Photograph With a Shirt On Goes To… (rustle, rustle of envelope being opened) Jake Shears!




*Foreigner asks* Just what am I looking at here?
Why do they do this to themselves. is it something in the water in LA?
Sharon Osbourne, Angela. For realz you didn’t know who that was? I’m relieved ubiquity isn’t, indeed, ubiquity.
It is a commonly known fact that should someone have a fat arse that fat lips will distract attention from the arse to the face. The flaw in this plan is you will inevitably be looking at a fat face as well, rendering the keeper of the fat lips a very obviously fat fucker.
I know she’s a judge on one of those talent shows in the UK, but she’s unknown here.
Her eyes look all piggy now, poor love. Do you think they charged her, or a junior doc did it for free?
Darling, am I blinking?