Why traipse all the way up to Hampstead Heath (behind Jack Straw’s Castle, just in case you’re interested) or all the way down to Clapham Common when you can get your bum fun slap bang *giggles* bang *giggles* in the middle of town, just a hop, skip and jump from Soho?
No, silly. It’s a maze. Amaze! Right in Trafalgar Square! Easy as peasy to get round, each little bit of the maze is sponsored by an area in London – Carnaby Street, for instance, just off the top of our fascinator-enhanced heads – and there are ‘events’ (the heart sinks) in the centre, different every day.
But seeing as it goes tomorrow, you’d better get down there quicksticks. Just don’t get your cock out. Or maybe do get your cock out. We’re not in charge of everyone’s cocks all of a sudden.
Much as we’d like to be!