With all the depth of an early Paula Abdul video, tons of dancing on back-to-front chairs, stocking-tops, horns, gilt mirrors, gays, brightly coloured cocktails, Cher giving make-up tips, Christina Aguilera as an ingenue, it could be, like, your regular Tuesday night dream.
But it’s not. It’s a movie. No, it’s more than a movie. It’s Burlesque. Starring Cher as the owner of a *checks notes* burlesque and Christina Aguilera as a waitress in a *checks notes* burlesque who dreams of performing on the stage of a *checks notes* working men’s club in the north of England. Sorry, burlesque.
And the trailer is out now! Like right now! Like right now over the jump! *screams. Wakes up with stocking tops on display*