Yes, she knew how to wear a turtle neck and a ballerina slipper but Audrey Hepburn was honest to Betsy the biggest drip in modern cinema, miscast in almost everything she starred in. And at last Emma Thompson, who’s writing the script for the new version of My Fair Lady, has had the courage to say so.
‘I find Audrey Hepburn fantastically twee,’ said ET, with restraint, we think, bearing in mind this is Rachel Stevens’ style icon and the style icon of every no-style Grazia-reading nincompoop in Christendom. ‘Twee is whimsy without wit.’ We hear ya, sister. ‘It’s mimsy-mumsy sweetness without any kind of bite. And that’s not for me.’ Can we get an amen or – it’s an old joke, but we love it – failing that, just some men?
‘She can’t sing and she can’t really act, I’m afraid.’ Honey, she can’t stand still in the middle of the room without overdoing it. ‘I’m sure she was a delightful woman – and perhaps if I had known her I would have enjoyed her acting more, but I don’t and I didn’t, so that’s all there is to it, really.’
Now, can we start in on Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which Truman Capote, who wrote it, declared to be fabulously miscast? And we hated her in Howard’s Way!