Marc Jacobs, gym bore.

Sssssh. And put some clothes on.

There’s nowt so queer as folk. And Marc Jacobs.

Marc Jacobs off-of never knowingly dressed, has given an interview to Calvin Klein for Harper’s Bazaar, in which he accidentally gives the interview he was saving up for Mens Health.

In it, he explains first of all how he got his body; secondly, how that new body of his makes him feel (because we’re all a little unsure on the matter); fifthly, some other stuff. It’s probably the most important thing you will ever read.

‘I had 21 percent body fat four years ago. I was in and out of the hospital because I had flare-ups of ulcerative colitis. I’d be in the office for 16 hours a day, six of which were in the bathroom because I was so ill. I ate nothing but junk food. Basically, the doctor said, “We’re going to have to remove your colon.” And I said, “I’m not doing that!” So I went to a nutritionist named Lindsey Duncan, and he said, “If you are 100 percent compliant with what I tell you to do, you will be in better shape than you’ve ever been in, and you will not have to have your colon removed.” I said, “Okay, sign me up.” He said no caffeine, no sugar, no white flour, no dairy from a cow, take açaí every morning, goji, noni, mangosteen, etcetera, omega-3, wheatgrass shots with ginger. The list is endless.

‘He said, “You gotta laugh every day, you gotta rest every day, and you have to perspire every day, which means you have to go to the gym.” I hadn’t stepped foot in a gym. Well, I hadn’t walked a block in 20 years. So I started, and like everything — I say this, and I hope it’s not misinterpreted, but I like what makes me feel better. That probably doesn’t come as a shock. When I started to feel better, and when my stomach wasn’t hurting, and when I wasn’t on the toilet all day, and when I could look at myself in the mirror, and when I went from 21% body fat to 5% body fat and I had muscle, I was like, “This is great!”

‘When guys started looking at me and asking me out on dates, I felt way better about myself. So it was hard to keep my clothes on, actually.’

Response:

– With all that stuff he puts in his mouth on a daily basis, where on earth does he find the time to breathe?

– ‘When guys started looking at me and asking me out on dates…’ Because people are asking out the multi-millionaire internationally famous fashion designer Marc Jacobs just for his 5% body fat.

– Is ‘laugh every day’ a euphemism for human growth hormone?

– And c) and d)

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More dolly #content:

3 comments to “Marc Jacobs, gym bore.”

  1. Also porn stars asking him on dates not so they appear in the Daily News because they are out with a rich man….no, they “fancy” his new look. Marc Jacobs or Tom Ford…..Marc who?

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  2. I can just imagine he response to “remove your colon.” But… but… where will I put my giant Bam dildo?

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  3. finally………………he takes OFF THAT DAMN KILT THAT KILLS ME AND THOSE LAME BOOTS HE WEARS WITH IT UGH SOMEONE SHOULD SHOOT HIM IF HE WEARS THAT EVERYDAY so tired of his stupid pic he is just lame…….YAWN! SO BORED OF HIM

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