This is one Jon Lee, formerly off-of S Club 7, currently off-of a really bad magazine cover. We saw this cover last week whilst bobbing for sweet apples and poppers in a fair-to-middlin’ well-known store just round the corner, walk for 30 seconds, second on your right from our new orifice in London’s glittering Soho and thought, ‘Well, that’s a shit cover.’ Then walked off thinking nothing of Jon Lee formerly off-of S Club 7 being very gay on the cover of a gay magazine because, well, we always assumed he was. Gay. Turns out he was, but hadn’t told anyone. Not Her Majesty’s public, anyway.
It’s taken till now for this information to filter through.
‘If someone had said, “Are you gay?” I would have said yes, but no-one ever did,’ says Jon.
Cut to us going through our interviews with S Club 7 in which we can almost guarantee we asked Jon Lee whether he took it up the ‘arris. Seeing as it’s normally our opener with any famous of the mens variety. As opposed to our opener with Nicole Appleton which went something/a lot/100% like this:
‘Is it true that when you first met Liam (Gallagher) you went up to him and said, “I have something in my pocket for you. My cunt.”?’
She fell of her chair. Really actually. Chair. Off it.
Anyway, we have a press release here with a schedule of all the mens who will be coming out of the closet. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll be homo.
September: Sir Dame Lady Elton John
November: King Edward II
December: Hugh Jackman. (That was just our Christmas present to us.)
February: Christopher Biggins
March: Gay Pride
April: Dannii Minogue’s boyfriend’s clothes
January: Oranges and Lemons, and the Bells of St Clements
*does a twirl*