Another gay one is gay? *falls off chair; dreams a dream*

Break it to us like that, why don't you...!

Hello.

This is one Jon Lee, formerly off-of S Club 7, currently off-of a really bad magazine cover. We saw this cover last week whilst bobbing for sweet apples and poppers in a fair-to-middlin’ well-known store just round the corner, walk for 30 seconds, second on your right from our new orifice in London’s glittering Soho and thought, ‘Well, that’s a shit cover.’ Then walked off thinking nothing of Jon Lee formerly off-of S Club 7 being very gay on the cover of a gay magazine because, well, we always assumed he was. Gay. Turns out he was, but hadn’t told anyone. Not Her Majesty’s public, anyway.

It’s taken till now for this information to filter through.

‘If someone had said, “Are you gay?” I would have said yes, but no-one ever did,’ says Jon.

Cut to us going through our interviews with S Club 7 in which we can almost guarantee we asked Jon Lee whether he took it up the ‘arris. Seeing as it’s normally our opener with any famous of the mens variety. As opposed to our opener with Nicole Appleton which went something/a lot/100% like this:

‘Is it true that when you first met Liam (Gallagher) you went up to him and said, “I have something in my pocket for you. My cunt.”?’

She fell of her chair. Really actually. Chair. Off it.

Anyway, we have a press release here with a schedule of all the mens who will be coming out of the closet. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll be homo.

September: Sir Dame Lady Elton John
October: Liberace
November: King Edward II
December: Hugh Jackman. (That was just our Christmas present to us.)
February: Christopher Biggins
March: Gay Pride
April: Dannii Minogue’s boyfriend’s clothes
January: Oranges and Lemons, and the Bells of St Clements

*does a twirl*

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5 comments to “Another gay one is gay? *falls off chair; dreams a dream*”

  1. what a strange photo. is it just the angle it’s been taken from or does he have withered legs?

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  2. Ahh, I think he looks lovely. Although he will have been airbrushed to buggery.
    Talking of buggery, I was flicking through channels on the tellybox the day before yesterday and I saw a man talking to TV’s Jessica Fletcher on Murder She Wrote and when she asking him what he’d been up to lately he said “I’ve been bumming across Europe”
    She didn’t even flinch, the dirty cow. And I thought she was a decent sort who would have had him arrested for such talk.
    As jovial Irish gameshow host and comedian Roy Walker from 80’s hit smash show Catchphrase would say..”It’s good, buy it’s not right”

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  3. *But…I meant but*

    *Completes*

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  4. He also apparently suffers from having no penis … I hope it’s not catching

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  5. and you’d think that having miniscule legs would make the peen area appear bigger.. not so. we live. and we learn.

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