The hands-down best invention since anal bleaching!

Mmm, what a relief!

No matter how much stuff we acquired, how many boys we shared the delights of, how much money we made, how much social status we enjoyed, there was always something. A hole. A void. A something-missingness.

Now we know what it was. The Raidoree, a tiny device invented to keep your cheeks apart while sunbathing naked to make sure you get the tan right up inside of yourself (though you will have two difficult-to-explain white marks where the Raidoree has been).

We want one and when we’re not actually using it, we are going to hang it on a ribbon about our necks. Actually, we might just use a discarded cotton reel sprayed golden, such is the Blue Peterness of our upbringing.

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4 comments to “The hands-down best invention since anal bleaching!”

  1. Whatever happened to anal bleaching? You hear very little about it these days. Are people going around with unbleached anuses?

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  2. “raie dorée” in French means literally “golden parting” which is amusing.

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  3. I’ll take seven. For all my arses.

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  4. Do they come in different sizes and strengths? I’m just imagining that some cheeks will require more heavy-duty parting than others. *pauses*makes note to find better topics that require imagining*

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