No matter how much stuff we acquired, how many boys we shared the delights of, how much money we made, how much social status we enjoyed, there was always something. A hole. A void. A something-missingness.
Now we know what it was. The Raidoree, a tiny device invented to keep your cheeks apart while sunbathing naked to make sure you get the tan right up inside of yourself (though you will have two difficult-to-explain white marks where the Raidoree has been).
We want one and when we’re not actually using it, we are going to hang it on a ribbon about our necks. Actually, we might just use a discarded cotton reel sprayed golden, such is the Blue Peterness of our upbringing.