Somebody did a survey – we should give them the credit, really, seeing as they went to all the effort. They even sent us an email! - and it turns out that one in ten British men are too fatty, fat, fat to see their own penis without the help of an onlooker drawing a sketch for them. And colouring it in.
16% of those questioned were unable to remember the last time they saw their penis.
Which is just, you know, like, Jesus, but how, no, you’re… really?
What is even more startling *reaches for the Chêne Diptyque* is that most of them are such lazy bastards, they wouldn’t even bother tying to lose weight if they were unable to do up their shoe laces. 79% of them, in fact. We fat you not!
This is not a fattist pieces, incidentally, if anyone’s wondering. It is a public service announcement, paid for by the public services, in which 21% of 20% of the male British population are pilloried for being lazy bastards.
Repeat after us: ‘Moment on the lips, lifetime on the…… No, it’s gone.’
Of interest: In order to find a picture to illustrate this piece, we typed ‘fat naked men’ into our search dolly. The first thing that came up was, ‘Fatgay.net – These chubby gay men are totally kinky and wild and they have been starved for (sic) cock for a long while.’
Well, if they hadn’t told us, we wouldn’t have believed them.
Mmmmm. De-wichious.