Aren’t the circles on the carpet to die for? Really, to die for. And if you look closely, you can see fluffy pom-poms attached to the pillows. And some of the walls are squashy. And there appear to be portholes in the doors. And a bed spread that is pink and shiny. And the floor is part laminate, part carpet. Has the world gone crazy? We’re redecorating as we speak.
It is a maisonette (sold!) situated on the top two floors of a mansion block in London’s full-of-posh-twats-with-jumpers-draped-over-their-shoulders Chelsea – or maybe it’s Kensington, which is like Chelsea only with more French people – and it is on the market (the what?) for £3.95million. It was on for £4.5million, but they took off £550,000 owing to compensation payments awarded to potential buyers who suffered post-traumatic stress after witnessing the bathroom.
Elsewhere in the house there are rooms, a staircase, a fully-functioning kitchen (we’ll just have to take their word for that), windows, light, air, cutlery you can only see using a magnifying glass, a vanilla candle from Muji, terracotta pots and white chiffon.
D’ya wanna see a staircase? It goes up and down…!
Oh ps. Kylie. Sometimes we’re just too esoteric for our own good.
It’ll need a good steam clean that’s all I can say.
Money doesn’t buy taste. Just the ability to buy things.
Nasty bedspread. And that dining room looks like it’s never been used.
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