Anyone want to hear Lady Gay Joe McElderry’s single? No, thought not.

You would if he really looked like this

Here he is, looking quite presentable with the six inches of gum and the shit-eating grin toned waaay down. You almost would. Only you wouldn’t because you’ve seen him in action. Louis would, obvious. Might even have already. Who can say? Oh, and before anyone says we’re being homophobic toward Dolly McElderry, anyone who goes on the cover of the red tops saying ‘I’m straight!’ only to be dragged out kicking and screaming by an ex gets what he has coming, quite frankly. We’re very harsh like that.

Anyways, the debut single, called ‘Ambitions’, is ready for your ears. And he’s decided that tonight Matthew, he’s going to be Mika. We’ll be the judge of that *is the judge of that. Puts on black cap, sentences Dolly McE, orders for him to be sent down, discovers he is down already*

Over the jump if you can bear to hear it…

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4 comments to “Anyone want to hear Lady Gay Joe McElderry’s single? No, thought not.”

  1. Oh please baby jesus god… make it stop! He truly is awful. Truly awful. Awful. Ful of aw.

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  2. If the red tops took an interest in my sexuality when I was all of 17, I’d have sworn blind that I was straight too. Be nice to the young thing, he may not be around for long.

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  3. I love it. Completely. Yes, very Mika, but no bad thing. Be nice.

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  4. Is it a Nick Kamen makeover? Wide Awake and SCREAMING should have been the title. Louis and Joe just lying there waiting for someone to get on top. Poor Cheryl throws in a dildo so they can get something going.

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