Poor old, dirty old, homophobic old, old old Chris Moyles. It seems the BBC have forgotten to pay him his last two months’ installment of the half million he picks up every year for going on about everything being ‘soooo gay’ on Radio 1, which frankly no one has listened to since the glory days of Tony Blackburn.
And so angry is Chris (Chris, hold that feeling. THAT’S how you make US feel when you insist that calling everything ‘soooo gay’ doesn’t actually translate into schoolyard bullying), that he spent the first half an hour of his show yesterday (not that we heard it, you understand) not playing records or even telling us what stuff was ‘soooo gay’ but moaning about his employers: Her Majesty’s Royal and Stately BBC.
Apparently, apart from not getting paid for the last two months (couldn’t you just get onto accounts like any normal person?), there was no milk in the office for his tea. Where’s the European Court of Human Rights when you need them.
He also found it fitting to have a go at listeners who told him to grow up. One texted to say that he should be grateful to be on such a giant wedge (of public money!) to which he replied: ‘I slept on someone’s sofa last night, so don’t speak to me about my life. You have no idea, my friend.’ Does half a million golden coins per year not buy a Premier Inn bed these days then?
‘It’s a huge lack of respect and a massive FU to me,’ he whined. Well, that’s how lack of respect feels, scruffbag. And here’s another massive FU to you for your collection.
And one last thing, can that man in the background get his feet off the very expensive equipment and put them on Chris Moyles’ face where they belong?
There's a sight to wake up to! No wonder the BBC aren't paying Chris Moyles anymore...,