Damon Albarn didn’t want sailor outfits for the Gorrillaz tour because they were ‘too gay’!


So, as they get ready for their Plastic Beach tour (can you imagine?), Damon Albarn, the one off-of Blur, was perusing ideas for outfits along a beach/nautical theme and came across some very (too?) on-message horizontal sailor stripes.

‘They might look a bit, well, gay,’ he said, that patently being a very bad thing for a boring, middle-class, middle-brow, middle-of-the-road, chunky-around-the-middle man to come over as. ‘Not that there’s anything wrong in that,’ he backpedaled as any good Guardian-reading bourgeois would when caught out in a casual bit of homophobia. ‘But I didn’t want us being like something from a Jean-Paul Gaultier advert.’ You should be so lucky, dolly.

Anyways, we applied our usual rule to this statement and this is what you get: ‘They might look a bit, well, Jewy. Not that there’s anything wrong in that.’

Case closed and secured with a Hello Kitty combination padlock.

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One comment to “Damon Albarn didn’t want sailor outfits for the Gorrillaz tour because they were ‘too gay’!”

  1. Oh no! Clearly, he meant “campy” and I’m sure he knows that not every gay person is outfitted in kitschy porn wear and surrounded by glow-sticks.

    Snap back at him because he’d probably encourage the same if it were said by someone else, but I highly doubt a man who has spent his life defying gender boundaries, has said on occasion that he’s been attracted to both men and women and who has genuinely appreciated the underground following that “Girls and Boys” awarded him, would somehow approve of homophobia. He’s a very pretty man (yes, even now!) and over the years, I’m sure his universal sexual appeal hasn’t escaped him and designers and photographers have tried to dress him in ways to capitalize on this appeal. However, I do think he realized what he’d said after he said it and probably wished he’d sewn his mouth shut first.

    Be gentle with people who’s lives have proven that they stand on the side of respecting humanity. The “breadcrumb trail” behind him leads to somewhere other than “homophobia”, just as the “breadcrumb trail” behind someone like George Rekers leads to somewhere other than “heterosexual” and “consideration for others”.

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